


Raindrops

by Etched_in_Fire



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Gen, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-02-08
Packaged: 2018-01-11 14:23:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1174122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Etched_in_Fire/pseuds/Etched_in_Fire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Contemplation was never Natsu's forte.  Neither was grieving.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Raindrops

It had rained the night before, as evidenced by the wet blades of grass licking at his feet.  But though the storm had passed, the wind kept on its rampage, ripping across the red roofs of the quiet city and screeching into the overcast sky.  He had neglected to grab a jacket, but the cold biting into his skin was something he was used to.  _I’ll just have to make this quick, I guess._   The thought made him feel uncomfortable, but he pushed the emotion aside with all the others.  The old man had told him to do this and maybe part of him realized it _was_ for his own good.  But there was a fiery stubbornness that plastered a frown across his tanned features; he did not like proving the old man right. 

            Instinctively, he nestled his nose into his scarf as the gale whipped itself back up, his teeth gnashed and his brows furrowed.  _Man, it’s really cold this year._  Maybe he should have taken Grey’s advice and borrowed a coat after all… But he cut off the thought there.  Seeing Grey’s smug face would have only made the visit even worse.  The old man had already proven him _wrong_ , and he was not sure his pride could have survived seeing the ice wizard triumph over him in an argument… be it a physical one or not.

            It was not a grand and glorious cemetery, but it was beautiful all the same.  Even someone with the powers of fire could appreciate the lush beauty, though it was all glazed over in a layer of raindrops.

            The scent of another hit his nose before his eyes could catch up.  Lifting from his sandals, they spied the other visitor, a hunched over man with shoulders to put an adult buffalo to shame.  When he rose to his full height, Natsu was but a bug in comparison.  Not that it daunted him in the slightest; being short had its advantages, but it did not help the teasing from the other guys in the slightest.

            “Elfman,” the famous Salamander found that his voice had gone dry, devoid of fire, devoid of strength.  It was a feeling he could only describe as unfamiliar.

            The other visitor said nothing.  Apologies had been spewing out of him since the _incident_ , and while the rest of the guild had done their best to console him, it wasn’t enough.  It was _never_ enough.  And everyone knew it.  Natsu knew it.  But that had not stopped Elfman from apologizing incessantly all the same.  Today, though, the bear of a man was silenced by his own grief.  Eyes never lifting from the ground, he took his leave, escaping down the stone path in a walk Natsu could only call a sulking retreat.

            But the quietness that echoed was more painful than Elfman’s retreating form.  Natsu found himself before the grave, his eyes sketching the words a thousand times, his brain not bothering to read them.  He had been to the funeral.  He knew what the grave stone said.  

            “H-hey…” the words were a fumble of a greeting to the stone, and suddenly he found himself groping about the quietness of the scene.  His vocal cords failed him, his mouth went dry, and his eyes stared holes into the rock that was supposed to signify his friend.  Only it didn’t.  Not in his mind.  It signified something _worse_ , something that raked into his chest like a dragon’s claws.  And it _ached!_   Worse than any injury he had sustained over the years of being a wizard.  Worse than any insult that had been slung at him.  The agony was maddening, drilling deeper into the recesses of his being.  And in a blink, Natsu felt his warm hand clutch at his heart, his mouth partially opened, and a puff of steam rising from his breath.

            “Gramps said to come out here ‘cause it’d be good for me,” he forced the words out.  Talking wasn’t his strong point.  Bashing skulls in was a much more familiar territory than this.  “The thing is… I… I don’t know _what_ to say!” There was a hiss in his breath, a small jet a fire erupting from behind his teeth, sizzling into the winter air.  But in a blink, it was gone, and the stone remained passive.

            He rested onto his knees, tucking his ankles beneath his butt and felt the raindrops seep into his pants.  On most days, he might have cared.  But today was different.  Today, he could not find the energy to care.  Tucking his chin into his scarf, he reached out with a hand, placing it at the top of the stone. There was nothing about it that reminded him of her, save for the name that graced the top—“Lisanna Strauss”.  The edges were rough, the stone a dull grey.  It was nothing like her.  Nothing at all.

            _It’s like you’re just… gone.  I don’t like it, damn it._

            But her face was still a perfect image in his mind, her voice still a ringing bell in his memories.  And the thought made him smile, despite the tears that had begun to trickle down the sides of his face.

            “Natsu,” a small voice spoke up behind him, nearly sending the Dragon Slayer out of his skin, and he turned to look over his shoulder after hastily scrubbing away the little wet rivers on either sides of his face.  

            _Happy._

            “I thought I should… come here too…” The poor blue cat had scarcely finished the sentence before he erupted into a fit of sobbing.  With one muscular arm, Natsu picked the winged cat up, cradling him like a child. 

            “H-hey little buddy,” he tried to console the weeping feline, but the waves of emotion were rising in the back of his throat—thick and unwanted.  He tore his gaze away from Happy, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed back the torrent of sorrow.  “It’s gonna be okay.” Perhaps Happy might have responded, had he not been busy burying his face into the Dragon Slayer’s bare chest, wetting it with his tears and wailing all the while.  A few choking sobs later, and the cat’s large eyes peered back up at the pink-haired wizard.

            “We were a family together…”

            “We’re still a family! You.  Me.  Everyone in Fairy Tail.”

            “But it’s not the same, Natsu… I just… I miss her…”

            The wave rose again, from the bowels of his throat into his mouth, and Natsu squeezed the blue cat into a hug. “I do too,” he admitted into the air, his chest tightening and his heart thundering.  “I miss her.”  And he found himself sobbing for the first time since Mirajane and Elfman had returned from their fateful mission.  He found himself shaking, feeling the cold and holding Happy close to his chest, his cheek resting on the talking cat’s head.

            “Gramps told me to come out here.  To talk to her.  And I just… I don’t know what to say.  I don’t know what to _do_.  God, I want to _punch_ something!  I want to burn this stupid cemetery down.  I don’t wanna talk.  I just… I want her _back_.”

            His thoughts were a tangled nightmare, and he didn’t even know where to begin.   He couldn’t find the end of one thread and he couldn’t hope to claw through the knots.  They were overwhelming him, no matter how hard he tried to shelve them and lock them away.  How could the old man expect him to talk to her?  How could he expect him to talk to some _rock_ like it actually was her?  No, it was just a symbol.  Saying she had _been_ here.  It wasn’t her.  It would never _be_ her.

            “Natsu… Maybe there just isn’t anything to say,” Happy suggested with a whimper, eyes glistening.

            And for possibly the first time in his life, Natsu Dragneel paused to think.


End file.
